And My World Came Crashing Down

On the 29^th of September 2014, I finished my final round of ABVD chemo and to say I was ecstatic was an absolute understatement! I had all of my family with me at Hopelands for my last session, we all went for delicious tea and treats at my favourite little café, Rosehurst, afterwards and I arrived back in Durban to a beautifully decorated flat with bunting and flowers galore! I was spoilt rotten by Gav, my Sister and my special friend Hayls <3 It didn’t seem real that my nightmare had come to an end! Three days later I went for another PET scan but I wasn’t worried at all because all of my previous PET scans had shown such dramatic decreases of the cancer “hot spots” and Shane believed that after 12 rounds of ABVD chemo I would be in remission.

This is what the PET scan looks like. You can see my cancer "hot spot" clearly in the pictures on the left hand side - the dark shaded area.

Celebrations!

We booked a trip to Cape Town with Ryan and Chermaine (my brother and sister-to-be) to have some time to recuperate and celebrate such an incredible milestone, we ate and drank non-stop and did all things touristy just for the sake of it. I was able to exercise after the ABVD was out of my system so I bought new takkies and we walked along the promenade every morning to grab a coffee and watch the sunrise.. I had to have one blood test while we were in Cape Town just to keep an eye on my cell count, the nurse battled to find a vein and poked me NUMEROUS times before she could draw blood. When I walked out of the lab to the car, blood started gushing down my arms and I had to run inside to get strapped up and pressure put on all of my punctures! Besides that one episode, it was so incredible to have a week off from all things medical related. 

Towards the end of our trip I noticed a small lump about the same size as a marble just above my left collarbone, it wasn’t painful to touch but I was aware of it. My heart was so full and so happy but somehow I just knew that something wasn’t ok, I hadn’t heard from anyone at Hopelands regarding my latest PET scan, usually the turnaround time for results is only a few days. I decided to call Shane on our last morning and when I got through to him he said he wanted me to enjoy my time away and made an appointment for me to see him the day after we got back home.Shane booked me in for a biopsy the following week as he wanted to see what the lump was. He suspected that it was probably scar tissue left behind from the chemo but I was booked into theatre for the biopsy as a precaution. The operation was only 2 hours long and I was discharged the same day. A few days later I went back to Shane to get my results and my whole world came crashing down…

The PET scan still showed cancer activity in my chest area and my biopsy tested positive for Lymphoma tissue, this meant that I was not actually in remission and had actually relapsed. The tears were flowing and I sobbed. It truly was a horrendous day. Unfortunately because I had relapsed (this means that I didn’t ever go into remission after 12 rounds of chemo) and the only option left for me was to start a new cycle of chemo and plan for a bone marrow transplant – super scary!

I started a much more aggressive form of chemo  called G-CSF, at the end of October  which I battled with SO much. I spent most of November in bed with little to no energy. The side effects were horrendous and I often wondered how I’d make it to the next day. I know this sounds very dramatic but I have never, ever, felt so terrible in all my life. There was a point when I wasn’t able to walk to the fridge to get myself something to drink. I would get into a cold bath up to eight times a day to get my temperature down and my skin was so sensitive I could barely handle wearing clothing. The nausea, stomach cramps and migraines were so horrific. I absolutely sailed through ABVD chemo compared to the G-CSF, I constantly felt out of body and floated around, I battled to drive and had no control over my hands which meant continuously dropping things (sorry about your special vase Mum). The worst part about the G-CSF is that there is such a huge amount of cortisone in each drug, cortisone makes you look so well on the outside (think glossy eyes, clear skin and chubby cheeks and arms) when in actual fact you feel half dead on the inside, I often hear people say “you don’t look sick”. I have had so many trips to the shop that I don’t remember because I was “floating with the fairies”. I have had 3 cycles of this chemo and my last cycle ended on the 31^st of December 2014 so I had a very, very quiet New Year! 

On the 4^th of November we travelled to Pretoria to meet Dr Britain, my Doctor that would be looking after me in terms of the transplant. He went through the basics of what a transplant meant for me as well as the high success rate and what it entailed. I will do separate blog posts on the various stages of the transplant as it is fairly complicated.

Stage 1: Bone marrow harvesting (19^th January 2015)

Stage 2: Bone marrow transplant (end of March 2015)

I am flying up to Pretoria on the 15^th of January to meet the whole transplant team, have lots of tests and to have a tour of the transplant unit. I will keep you posted on the details- I’ve got an entire manual to read but I keep putting it off- there are scary things in there!

Some light reading!

In the meantime I am wedding planning like crazy! We are getting married in 60 days, SO exciting!

Our beautiful card that came from the amazing Che Dyer of Indieberries, she created our incredible Love Book for our wedding. Check out www.indieberries.com <3

Sneak peak of our invite

I also have another PET scan on Friday which is very important. Please send positive thoughts and prayers my way friends! I hope you have all had a fantastic start to 2015- I have a good feeling about this year J

xxx